Lost in Translation

Our family often has moments in which we notice that we don't quite fit in outside our home. Whether it's a glance from a stranger when we are deep in an unusual conversation, or the double-takes when our girls break out into spontaneous interpretive dance at the mall because the mood strikes (with or without music), it's often an adventure.

Here are a few examples of recent instances that within the house, seemed perfectly normal, but out of the house, caused some raised eyebrows.  If you can relate, or your kids have done the same, come on over. We could use a playdate with some kindred spirits. :)

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We love They Might Be Giants. We have a Youtube list full of their songs. C's favorite song is "What is a Shooting Star", and B's is "Put it to the Test". Even A will sit and chuckle with us, putting her "I'm a cool teenager" persona aside to laugh at the scientist who gets eaten by his plant. I crack up at the "Seven" song. It's not uncommon for one of us to shout, "We want cake! Where's our cake?" when discussing dessert options.

...but transplant that fun time into the birthday party of some kid whose family we hardly know, and my girls see the birthday cake and chant, "We want cake! Where's our cake?" ...

Based on their reaction, that family clearly does not watch They Might Be Giants videos for fun. Sigh. 

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B enjoys the American Girl series, and her favorite girl is Kaya, who is from the Nez Perce tribe. The Kaya books have a glossary of Nez Perce words, and B has learned many. The Nez Perce believed in animal spirit guides, called "wyakins". My little fairy girl loves the idea of this, and told us her wyakin is a dog. Some fun conversations about various Native American beliefs and traditions have spawned from the books. 

...now imagine a Girl Scout meeting, at which a police officer has come to tell the girls about his job, and he has brought his German Shepherd police dog. During question/answer time, B pipes up and tells everyone that she has a wyakin, a spirit guide, and he is a dog that looks just like the policeman's. 

<<<crickets chirping>>>

The police officer was very kind, and said, "Well, that's pretty cool", and moved on, but based on their expressions, I don't think the other moms & kids have read the Kaya books.  

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B has a book called "A Genuine and Moste Authentic Guide: Princess" that she reads like it's her gospel. I have to say, her table manners and posture have improved greatly. She has also learned some "frustrated princess" words, and it's not unusual to hear her muttering, "Dash it and diamonds!" or "Flippering frogs!" when things aren't going her way. 

...now fast-forward to a gymnastics class. She is having a difficult time with a skill, and exclaims "Curses and crowns!"  I'm so happy that her coach appreciates all of her idiosyncrasies. I am fairly certain that the other girls in her class have not read the  princess book, though, judging from the looks on their faces.

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I might be the only at the bookstore who gets it when B sings "Mary Pope Osborne has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them..." then dissolves in giggles. Her dad and I might be the only ones who understand what she is talking about at a big gathering when she states "I need some quiet. I'm over-excited right now." 

B told me the other night, "You know, Mom, it's the weird things about you that make you special."

I couldn't agree more!

image: Loulse Docker

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Stop Thinking. Start Doing.

I recently participated in a call hosted by Sara Yamtich and Jade Rivera on "multipotentiality" a.k.a. being interested in and wanting to go multiple directions with your life and how to make that happen.

I spent a good fifteen years of my life fitting myself into a little box, shrinking who I am to a minimum, ignoring hopes and dreams. I realized a few years ago that I don't have to feel trapped in circumstance anymore.

I have found many treasures that I love and want to use, now that I have "unpacked the box", so to speak, but it is difficult to remember how. I have also found that letting my emotions roam freely can be overwhelming and exhausting, and I struggle with how to manage them wisely.

A moment in the call particularly spoke to me - Jade discussed satisfying three things every day to keep herself in a state of peace: one for the mind, one for the heart, one for the body.

That sounds like an excellent starting point for me.

I  have responsibilities, and homeschooling two gifted girls is very time consuming, but I know I can do three things daily for myself.

So, what's my plan?

image: flickr

For my body - I began running in April. I am not a very athletic person, but one day, I had just had enough of everything, and needed 15 minutes to myself. I downloaded the Couch25k app, and got on the treadmill. Within a month, I felt motivated to run often, and I began running outside, which improved the experience further.

It's a soothing habit now. I run 1.5 miles 3-4 times weekly. It adds an element of  peace and nature and endorphins to my routine. It's healthy for my whole self.

For my mind - I am enrolled in a Coursera class - Modern and Contemporary Poetry from Penn State. I adore poetry and much of the material for the class will be new to me.  I enroll classes often, but I rarely participate. I will make it a priority to engage in this class, and pamper my brain, rather than watch another Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.☺

So far, I have taken 15-20 minutes in my day to watch the lectures and read the selected poems. B has been watching the lectures with me, and perhaps she will learn to love Emily Dickinson as much as I do.

For my heart - I need to help, to give. I tend to go all-out and give until I have nothing left for those who are most important to me, and then I come to an abrupt halt.

I volunteered at our local food bank/food center for a time, in the kids' reading room. I read with children who came with their families for their one hot meal of the day, helped with homework, and played with the little ones. My emotional OE went into overdrive and I could not stop thinking about the children and their lives. I wanted to take them all home, feed them all, love them all. I would break down thinking of them during the day, and I dreamt of it at night. My family suffered in the mean time, and I had to force myself to admit that it was too much for me. (In my head, this still sounds horribly selfish - my emotions were too much? Their lives are too much.)

I had to accept my limitations, however selfish it made me feel.  I don't know that I am able to turn my emotions to a lower gear, so I need to involve myself in productive endeavors that will satisfy but not consume me. My goal in this area is to give daily, in ways that are more sustainable for the long-term me. For now, I will engage in random acts of kindness, and look for small but meaningful ways to help in my community.


At the beginning of the call, Sara emphasized that "clarity comes from doing, not thinking", and that is is just fine to be and do more than one thing. It sounds so simple when I write it.

Stop thinking. Start doing.

image: flickr

When the World is Telling You "Hush"...

I ran across this blog post from Paula Prober on the GHF Facebook page...

"Individuals with rainforest minds are often intense and quite bright. They love learning new things and sharing what they learn with others. But you may run into trouble when your cohorts don’t appreciate your long detailed descriptions or your esoteric musings."

                                                                ~Exuberance and Unending Curiosity

                

It described me exactly. I love to find an article or blog or research paper about something interesting that has lots of other links to study it further. I read the links, I check the cited books out of the library, I soak it all up until the next subject is discovered. I love to share what I've learned, usually with my husband or sister, who humor me kindly.

Sometimes, I get so excited about it, that I forget to check my surroundings before I start spouting off.

One night, the husband and I had a Trivial Pursuit night with his best friend and wife. One of the questions reminded me of some random subject of interest that I had just finished reading about. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I do remember saying, "Oh! I was just reading something about that, and what actually happens is..." and it being so interesting to me, but the eyes of our friends began to glaze over. My husband started doing the "cut" sign across his throat. And the sound of crickets.

I may just be over-analyzing (yes, I do that too. Sigh.), but I believe that was the last time we were invited over to their house. The guys hang out all the time, but our families haven't gotten together in a long while. Are we just all busy, or did I accidentally cross the line of letting too much of my wiring out?

It's so rare and comforting to run across someone besides my husband who "gets" me. It feels as is a big sigh of relief washes over my entire body. I can be myself. I can talk about my kids. I don't have to pretend. Most of these people, however, I have only found online, and I am a proximity person. I typically need to see you often to be able to feel close to you...but maybe I will have to train myself to be different in this area if I'd like more real friends. I have been making a concerted effort to be more involved in a few of my online groups, and I'll see how that goes.

When I was in middle school, I was part of a gifted program that grouped those of us that qualified together for language arts, social studies, math and science. Those school years were my best - I was surrounded by people who were so much like me. We had different interests, and we understood how exciting it was to share them with each other. Then came high school, and several moves, and we fell out of touch. Since that time, I have made a few friends that have lasted with me over time, but they are not "spill my guts" friends. And certainly not "spill my guts about my kids" friends.

Over time, I have just come to the realization that I am who I am, and I like who I am. I have become an expert at toning myself down and fitting my personality into the circumstance, but it's so cramped in that box!

flickr

As I watch my kids grow and develop, and see that they have acquired many of these same traits, it encourages me to not keep myself folded up in that box. I want them to love and appreciate themselves for who they are, and the best way to teach them is by example. Of course, they will need to learn some situational cues and behaviors in order to survive in this world, but I'd like them to be confident in themselves and not be convinced that they need to camouflage their personalities, as I did for 30 some years.

So, here's to getting out of that box and exploring the rainforest.